Does No Conflict Equal a Healthy Relationship?

The absence of conflict does not equate to a healthy relationship. By avoiding conflict, you are not able to express your true feelings in your relationship.

When you store up your frustrations and keep them to yourself. This can cause you to feel stressed and anxious. It can also cause negative impacts on your overall health and well-being. Not addressing conflict in a productive manner has impacts on our relationships. We are not being honest with ourselves and the other people in our lives.

Disagreement happens in all relationships, but what matters is how conflict is dealt with. The way you deal with conflict can determine whether a relationship is healthy or unhealthy.

Here are some things to keep in mind when handling your next argument way:

1. Really listen to your partner can help prevent misunderstanding and shows them you are really paying attention and caring about what they are saying. Don’t interrupt your partner, don’t speak over them, don’t act like you know what they are saying.
2. Develop your assertive side by setting boundaries, speaking directly and calmly, keeping message clear and understandable, and believing in your ability to handle the situation.
3. Being calm and respectful during an argument. Be respectful, insult your partner, and don’t cross boundaries. If your partner consistently yells at you, gets heated, gets aggressive, or starts cursing then you most likely are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
4. Welcome open conversations where you and your partner sit down and communicate openly about what is bothering them and going well in the relationships. If you and your partner can do this without retaliation and becoming defensive, then you are in a healthy relationship.

Sources

• 7 Tips for Handling Conflict in Your Relationship (joinonelove.org)
• 3 Ways to Deal with Conflict in Relationships | Lyra Health

Every Step Matters in Recovery

Don’t forget to pause and take in your progress. Appreciate each step of your growth! When you appreciate the process of whatever you’re striving for you create a better outcome for yourself.

Here are some small things you can do to recognize your small steppingstones in recovery, because THEY DO MATTER:

1. Write down your small accomplishments: This will help you see your progress and recognize as you excel in your recovery process. Keep a journal or a list of accomplishments you are proud of. Every win, every step matters no matter how big or how small.
2. Celebrate your recovery with self-care: This should be a priority no matter how you intend to reward yourself. You pick how to reward yourself for accomplishments you make in recovery!
3. Practice mindfulness: Don’t worry about the past or the future, work on living in the moment. This will help you focus on what you are doing now and bettering yourself now. Focus on one step at a time! When you think about thoughts from the past and future, this will promote anxiety and it will contribute to relapse because only you think about bad things.
4. Tell a friend: Telling a friend about your small accomplishments in recovery is a way to celebrate success, no matter how small it is to the closest friend who always celebrates my wins with me.

Doing all these small things to recognize your small accomplishments can help brighten your day and push you further in recovery.

So, in conclusion, it might not feel like it right now, but it’s all going to work out. You just have to believe and DO THE WORK! Then you will see results.

How can you Rebuild a Marriage After Infidelity?

One of the most common challenges couples come to therapy with is infidelity. Whether it’s one partner or both that cheated, it leaves a lasting negative impact on a relationship when not truly dealt with, even if the infidelity happened years ago.

The definition of an affair varies between partners or couples. An emotional affair is still considered infidelity for some people, despite the absence of a physical connection. But, if your partner cheats, what should you do?

• Give yourself all the time, room and space to process the infidelity.
• Have open and honest conversations about how you both feel when you both can truly hear it.
• Remind yourself that even though this happened, you are still enough.
• Remind yourself that everything you feel is valid, and you can allow all of it room and space to be.
• Remind yourself that it’s completely normal and okay for your insecurities to be louder as a result.

Marriage counseling or couple therapy aims to help couples understand each other, resolves conflicts, and improve the couple’s relationship overall.

Here are reasons to seek marriage counseling after an affair:

• Come to understand how it happen.
• Learn to communicate rather than act out your dissatisfactions.
• Learn to work together to re-build trust and a better relationship.
• Argue in a healthier way.

AT BCA Therapy, we have trained marriage and family therapists that can help you get through the toughest points in a relationship! Couples in therapy can expect that both sides will be heard.

Protect Yourself from a Narcissist!

What is important to a narcissist is CONTROL. A narcissist needs control over the situation they’re in. Whether that’s in a relationship, in a social scenario, or something else, a narcissist will manipulate the circumstances to maintain control.

Here are ways to handle a narcissist:

1. Set Boundaries. Make sure to let the narcissist know what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. Just because they don’t care about their boundaries, doesn’t mean you don’t care about your own boundaries. SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES!
2. Don’t Engage Emotionally. It is easier to protect yourself from a narcissistic rage if you are out of their reach. You just block a narcissist on social media and change your phone number. But unfortunately, it’s not always possible for everyone, such as ex-spouses who are stuck in co-parenting. If you are in a similar situation hold your inner composure. Stay calm and don’t take it personally. Image you are separated by a mental wall from a narcissist and only use dry facts when talking to them. [1]
3. Ignore them. Ignore their rudeness, it gives them no satisfaction, and then they won’t be rude to you and move onto someone else.
4. Protect yourself. It is your right to protect yourself and your happiness. Don’t feel wrong because you blocked a narcissist out of your life. They hurt you and did not care how you feel in the first place. Remind yourself that!
5. Don’t fight them, it will make the situation worse. Don’t fight a narcissist, as there is no win when fighting a narcissist. They enjoy fighting, and their goal is to control you. They won’t let you have an opinion, and they are always right. Fighting a narcissist is a win for them, and a loss for you.
6. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. Be an example for your kids, friends and family. [2]

How can therapy help you with narcissistic abuse recovery?

• Therapy can help you address acute symptoms (self-care, boundaries, and cognitive dissonance).
• It can help you with a divorce from a spouse, who was/is a narcissist.
• Therapy can help provide you with tool and homework for your recovery.
• It can also help identify narcissistic behaviors that are causing problems in your life.
• It will help you exercise your mind.
• It also can offer guidance to help you heal.

If you are looking for therapist that treats narcissistic abuse recovery, gaslighting, trauma, and PTSD. BCA Therapy has therapist that specialize and treat this. Visit BCA Therapy, to learn more about our therapist and schedule an appointment today. Let’s DO THE WORK and recover. We are here with you every step of the way during your recovery.

Sources:

[1] How To Protect Yourself From A Narcissist | Arcadian Counseling

[2] 8 Tips to Protect Yourself From a Narcissist | Psychology Today