therapy Tag

How can you Rebuild a Marriage After Infidelity?

One of the most common challenges couples come to therapy with is infidelity. Whether it’s one partner or both that cheated, it leaves a lasting negative impact on a relationship when not truly dealt with, even if the infidelity happened years ago.

The definition of an affair varies between partners or couples. An emotional affair is still considered infidelity for some people, despite the absence of a physical connection. But, if your partner cheats, what should you do?

• Give yourself all the time, room and space to process the infidelity.
• Have open and honest conversations about how you both feel when you both can truly hear it.
• Remind yourself that even though this happened, you are still enough.
• Remind yourself that everything you feel is valid, and you can allow all of it room and space to be.
• Remind yourself that it’s completely normal and okay for your insecurities to be louder as a result.

Marriage counseling or couple therapy aims to help couples understand each other, resolves conflicts, and improve the couple’s relationship overall.

Here are reasons to seek marriage counseling after an affair:

• Come to understand how it happen.
• Learn to communicate rather than act out your dissatisfactions.
• Learn to work together to re-build trust and a better relationship.
• Argue in a healthier way.

AT BCA Therapy, we have trained marriage and family therapists that can help you get through the toughest points in a relationship! Couples in therapy can expect that both sides will be heard.

Protect Yourself from a Narcissist!

What is important to a narcissist is CONTROL. A narcissist needs control over the situation they’re in. Whether that’s in a relationship, in a social scenario, or something else, a narcissist will manipulate the circumstances to maintain control.

Here are ways to handle a narcissist:

1. Set Boundaries. Make sure to let the narcissist know what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. Just because they don’t care about their boundaries, doesn’t mean you don’t care about your own boundaries. SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES!
2. Don’t Engage Emotionally. It is easier to protect yourself from a narcissistic rage if you are out of their reach. You just block a narcissist on social media and change your phone number. But unfortunately, it’s not always possible for everyone, such as ex-spouses who are stuck in co-parenting. If you are in a similar situation hold your inner composure. Stay calm and don’t take it personally. Image you are separated by a mental wall from a narcissist and only use dry facts when talking to them. [1]
3. Ignore them. Ignore their rudeness, it gives them no satisfaction, and then they won’t be rude to you and move onto someone else.
4. Protect yourself. It is your right to protect yourself and your happiness. Don’t feel wrong because you blocked a narcissist out of your life. They hurt you and did not care how you feel in the first place. Remind yourself that!
5. Don’t fight them, it will make the situation worse. Don’t fight a narcissist, as there is no win when fighting a narcissist. They enjoy fighting, and their goal is to control you. They won’t let you have an opinion, and they are always right. Fighting a narcissist is a win for them, and a loss for you.
6. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. Be an example for your kids, friends and family. [2]

How can therapy help you with narcissistic abuse recovery?

• Therapy can help you address acute symptoms (self-care, boundaries, and cognitive dissonance).
• It can help you with a divorce from a spouse, who was/is a narcissist.
• Therapy can help provide you with tool and homework for your recovery.
• It can also help identify narcissistic behaviors that are causing problems in your life.
• It will help you exercise your mind.
• It also can offer guidance to help you heal.

If you are looking for therapist that treats narcissistic abuse recovery, gaslighting, trauma, and PTSD. BCA Therapy has therapist that specialize and treat this. Visit BCA Therapy, to learn more about our therapist and schedule an appointment today. Let’s DO THE WORK and recover. We are here with you every step of the way during your recovery.

Sources:

[1] How To Protect Yourself From A Narcissist | Arcadian Counseling

[2] 8 Tips to Protect Yourself From a Narcissist | Psychology Today

How to Prepare Your Mental Health As You Transition to College

If you are heading to college with a diagnosed mental health condition, you are not the only one. Many new students are in therapy, take medications, receive support services through college, private tutors, guidance counselors, or other agencies. Planning ahead for your mental health and academic support needs will make your transition to college healthier, easier, and more comfortable. Know the steps to prepare your mental health before stepping onto a college campus can help you so much.

• Time management– College can be more demanding than high school, plan to devote more time to your studies. Plan out your days and create a routine that you stick to every week. Having an assignment book to mark important assignments and tests can make your experience of college so much easier.
• Socializing– It can be fun to meet your roommate(s) and others on the floor in your building. Just remember that some people thrive on social interaction while others may struggle with that, so be kind to one another.
• Independence– Now that you’re on your own, you may feel the need to test your limits. Don’t make bad decisions based on peer pressure. Say “NO” to things you don’t want to do. Setting boundaries is very important and do not let people step over your boundaries and respect other people’s boundaries.
•  Resources– Be sure to use to familiarize yourself with the resources on college campus. Consider joining a student organization and being involved. There is also learning assistance and resource centers, and student health services and counseling centers that can assist you if needed.
• Stress– Being aware that some amount of stress and anxiety is normal. You are in a setting with new people and new challenges. You can do this!

Sources:

Family Matters: Making the Transition to College – West Chester University (wcupa.edu)

Planning Ahead for Your Mental Health Care as You Transition to College | The Jed Foundation

How to overcome grieving?

Grief is painful emotional process that is not easy to deal with. You may have lost a family member, spouse, friend, or a pet. No matter your loss, be honest with yourself. The one way to heal is to process and come to terms with your emotions. Seeking therapy after a loss can help you overcome anxiety and depression by processing your experience at your own pace.

Things you can do to feel better if you’re grieving is practicing self-care which is critical component of the grieving process. In addition to participating therapy consider things you can do to take care of yourself. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Stop drinking.
• Taking nature walks.
• Practice mediating.
• Spending time with family and friends.
• Having a set schedule.
• Reading books.
• Get physical activity daily

If you are suffering from grief to cope with grief in Wayne or Yardley area, talk to a therapist at BCA Therapy. We are specialized to help you and will help you through these times.

Living with Anxiety

Some days, the goal is to win over anxiety, show up and face the day. But it is important to breathe and keep going. This is completely normal! But what is anxiety? Anxiety is the mind and body’s reaction to stressful, dangerous, or unfamiliar situations. It’s the sese of uneasiness, distress, or dread you feel before a significant event. Anxiety does not like big crowds, plans changing at the last minute, the unknown, new situations, and loud noise. Anxiety likes to be in control, having a routine and schedule, reassurance, being extra careful, and being alert at all times. This is what is looks like to have anxiety.

Things you didn’t know were anxiety:

• Pleasure to be perfect.
• Thinking everyone is judging you.
• Trying to meet everyone’s standard.
• Rethinking your decision.
• Irrational fears.
• Chronic stomach pain.

Anxiety can also grow throughout your body, but you can do the work to calm your nerves. One step is to visit BCA Therapy, because we have therapists who specialize in anxiety and can help look deeper, uncovering additional life factors that lead to out-of-control feelings. We have locations in Bucks County and the Main Line area that you can visit.