Relationships Tag

Can We Control How Others Show Up in Our Relationship?

How others show up in our relationships is not under our control.

We have no control over others behavior, even those we love and care for. We can’t make people be nicer to us, kinder to us, care for us, or love us in the way we envision. What we can do is take care of ourselves, be clear with our needs, and then choose what relationships are healthy for us to maintain and what ones we need to let go.

We Cannot Control Others Who Show Up in Our Relationship

We have no control over others behavior, even those we love and care for. We can’t make people be nicer to us, kinder to us, care for us, or love us in the way we envision.  What we can do is take care of ourselves, be clear with our needs, and then choose what relationships are healthy for us to maintain and what ones we need to let go.

When we learn how to take care of ourselves first, it will make it easier for us to judge whether we are happy with ourselves. This will also help you see whether those around us are treating us the way we deserve. If you feel you are being treated unfairly when we put ourselves first, you can refrain from speaking or remove yourself from the situation entirely.

Going to counseling can help us build confidence and stay focused on what we can control. Go to therapy can help you take control and help us deal with situations like these we cannot control.

Importance of Self-Care in a Relationship

How do you practice self-care in a relationship? Taking care of yourself first should always be your number one priority. If you are not caring about yourself first, how are you supposed to be the best person you can be around your significant other when you are at your best?

Here are some ways to practice self-care in a relationship:

• Setting boundaries. Doing this is very crucial in a healthy relationship because it keeps a balance between you and your partner. This also helps reduce conflict, because it sets an example of what you and your partner expect from each other. This will help bring you and your partner closer together because setting boundaries creates open communication.
• Hanging out with a group of your own friends. It is important to have a social life outside of your relationship.
• Maintaining independence is important in a relationship. Don’t rely on or allow your partner to control your judgement or tell you what to do.
• Let your partner know what you like and don’t like. It’s also difficult and may lead to some conflict. But it is important to say how you feel and eliminate anything that is not making you feel good and don’t like. If something is not making you happy you don’t have to do it and that brings the importance of the word “NO” and setting boundaries.
• Having a hobby. This can create a safe space that makes you happy or time set away from your partner that you like. You don’t always have to be doing everything with your partner. Just get a hobby of your own. For example, doing a craft, gardening, collecting coins, going on a hike by yourself. These are examples of self-care.

When you and your partner practice self-care in a relationship you both will be happier in your relationship. It is not selfish in a relationship, and you and your partner will be happier in your relationship

Don’t Allow Someone to Treat You Poorly in a Relationship!

Don’t allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them. Love is never a reason to be treated poorly. When we struggle with self-love, we accept the love we think we deserve. We’re so scared of not being loved that we hold on to people who treat us poorly.

To experience true love, we have to rebuild and repair our idea of loving and fulfillment from within ourselves. This begins with loving ourselves and knowing how we want and deserve to be treated.

If you find yourself constantly doing things for your partner and can’t seem to remember the last time your partner did something for you, you may be taken advantage of. It is very important to have equality in a relationship. Let your partner know that you feel this way and have a sit-down conversation with them.

Don’t allow your partner to disrespect you! The lack of healthy boundaries could be reason why they are treating you poorly, WHICH IS NOT AN EXCUSE. Create healthy boundaries with your partner and let them know, if they don’t respect your boundaries the relationship cannot continue as it is way to toxic. It is important to distance yourself when the partner cannot respect you or your boundaries. There is only so much one partner can do and take. As much as we like to, we cannot change how a partner behaves, treats us, and fix their behavior in the relationship.

At BCA Therapy, we have therapist who offer family, couples, and individual therapy. If you are looking to find a solution or need help in a relationship. WE OFFER HELP. Let’s “DO THE WORK” together, we want to help you.

We have therapists in Wayne and Yardley that look forward to helping you.