Author: Ryan Peacock

Every Step Matters in Recovery

Don’t forget to pause and take in your progress. Appreciate each step of your growth! When you appreciate the process of whatever you’re striving for you create a better outcome for yourself.

Here are some small things you can do to recognize your small steppingstones in recovery, because THEY DO MATTER:

1. Write down your small accomplishments: This will help you see your progress and recognize as you excel in your recovery process. Keep a journal or a list of accomplishments you are proud of. Every win, every step matters no matter how big or how small.
2. Celebrate your recovery with self-care: This should be a priority no matter how you intend to reward yourself. You pick how to reward yourself for accomplishments you make in recovery!
3. Practice mindfulness: Don’t worry about the past or the future, work on living in the moment. This will help you focus on what you are doing now and bettering yourself now. Focus on one step at a time! When you think about thoughts from the past and future, this will promote anxiety and it will contribute to relapse because only you think about bad things.
4. Tell a friend: Telling a friend about your small accomplishments in recovery is a way to celebrate success, no matter how small it is to the closest friend who always celebrates my wins with me.

Doing all these small things to recognize your small accomplishments can help brighten your day and push you further in recovery.

So, in conclusion, it might not feel like it right now, but it’s all going to work out. You just have to believe and DO THE WORK! Then you will see results.

How can you Rebuild a Marriage After Infidelity?

One of the most common challenges couples come to therapy with is infidelity. Whether it’s one partner or both that cheated, it leaves a lasting negative impact on a relationship when not truly dealt with, even if the infidelity happened years ago.

The definition of an affair varies between partners or couples. An emotional affair is still considered infidelity for some people, despite the absence of a physical connection. But, if your partner cheats, what should you do?

• Give yourself all the time, room and space to process the infidelity.
• Have open and honest conversations about how you both feel when you both can truly hear it.
• Remind yourself that even though this happened, you are still enough.
• Remind yourself that everything you feel is valid, and you can allow all of it room and space to be.
• Remind yourself that it’s completely normal and okay for your insecurities to be louder as a result.

Marriage counseling or couple therapy aims to help couples understand each other, resolves conflicts, and improve the couple’s relationship overall.

Here are reasons to seek marriage counseling after an affair:

• Come to understand how it happen.
• Learn to communicate rather than act out your dissatisfactions.
• Learn to work together to re-build trust and a better relationship.
• Argue in a healthier way.

AT BCA Therapy, we have trained marriage and family therapists that can help you get through the toughest points in a relationship! Couples in therapy can expect that both sides will be heard.

Protect Yourself from a Narcissist!

What is important to a narcissist is CONTROL. A narcissist needs control over the situation they’re in. Whether that’s in a relationship, in a social scenario, or something else, a narcissist will manipulate the circumstances to maintain control.

Here are ways to handle a narcissist:

1. Set Boundaries. Make sure to let the narcissist know what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. Just because they don’t care about their boundaries, doesn’t mean you don’t care about your own boundaries. SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES!
2. Don’t Engage Emotionally. It is easier to protect yourself from a narcissistic rage if you are out of their reach. You just block a narcissist on social media and change your phone number. But unfortunately, it’s not always possible for everyone, such as ex-spouses who are stuck in co-parenting. If you are in a similar situation hold your inner composure. Stay calm and don’t take it personally. Image you are separated by a mental wall from a narcissist and only use dry facts when talking to them. [1]
3. Ignore them. Ignore their rudeness, it gives them no satisfaction, and then they won’t be rude to you and move onto someone else.
4. Protect yourself. It is your right to protect yourself and your happiness. Don’t feel wrong because you blocked a narcissist out of your life. They hurt you and did not care how you feel in the first place. Remind yourself that!
5. Don’t fight them, it will make the situation worse. Don’t fight a narcissist, as there is no win when fighting a narcissist. They enjoy fighting, and their goal is to control you. They won’t let you have an opinion, and they are always right. Fighting a narcissist is a win for them, and a loss for you.
6. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. Be an example for your kids, friends and family. [2]

How can therapy help you with narcissistic abuse recovery?

• Therapy can help you address acute symptoms (self-care, boundaries, and cognitive dissonance).
• It can help you with a divorce from a spouse, who was/is a narcissist.
• Therapy can help provide you with tool and homework for your recovery.
• It can also help identify narcissistic behaviors that are causing problems in your life.
• It will help you exercise your mind.
• It also can offer guidance to help you heal.

If you are looking for therapist that treats narcissistic abuse recovery, gaslighting, trauma, and PTSD. BCA Therapy has therapist that specialize and treat this. Visit BCA Therapy, to learn more about our therapist and schedule an appointment today. Let’s DO THE WORK and recover. We are here with you every step of the way during your recovery.

Sources:

[1] How To Protect Yourself From A Narcissist | Arcadian Counseling

[2] 8 Tips to Protect Yourself From a Narcissist | Psychology Today

Don’t Allow Someone to Treat You Poorly in a Relationship!

Don’t allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them. Love is never a reason to be treated poorly. When we struggle with self-love, we accept the love we think we deserve. We’re so scared of not being loved that we hold on to people who treat us poorly.

To experience true love, we have to rebuild and repair our idea of loving and fulfillment from within ourselves. This begins with loving ourselves and knowing how we want and deserve to be treated.

If you find yourself constantly doing things for your partner and can’t seem to remember the last time your partner did something for you, you may be taken advantage of. It is very important to have equality in a relationship. Let your partner know that you feel this way and have a sit-down conversation with them.

Don’t allow your partner to disrespect you! The lack of healthy boundaries could be reason why they are treating you poorly, WHICH IS NOT AN EXCUSE. Create healthy boundaries with your partner and let them know, if they don’t respect your boundaries the relationship cannot continue as it is way to toxic. It is important to distance yourself when the partner cannot respect you or your boundaries. There is only so much one partner can do and take. As much as we like to, we cannot change how a partner behaves, treats us, and fix their behavior in the relationship.

At BCA Therapy, we have therapist who offer family, couples, and individual therapy. If you are looking to find a solution or need help in a relationship. WE OFFER HELP. Let’s “DO THE WORK” together, we want to help you.

We have therapists in Wayne and Yardley that look forward to helping you.